not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think people are normalizing furries
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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