I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
