idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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