I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
