I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
