whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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