Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
