i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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