The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
