apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
