My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
