I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
