Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
