i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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