I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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