Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
