Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
