My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
