Need sex. Gaining weight.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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