You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
