he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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