YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize