I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
