She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
