I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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