I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it glows. i had to have it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
