there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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