Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
