Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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