oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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