just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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