I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
