sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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