Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Alive.
So much puke
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
