The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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