My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
