I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
