Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
