Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
