I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
