____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she looked like the before picture.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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