And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
