at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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