You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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