make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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