seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
