He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I would fuck him just for his dog
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
