So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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