get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
