Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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