he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
