Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
