wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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